I had a sickness in the pit of my stomach. How could anyone misinterpret my intentions? I had come to be the pastor of a church because I wanted to connect with the lives of people in a community for the purpose of sharing Christ. I wanted to open the Word of God to believers and open the truth of Christ to those who did not know Him yet. I tried my best to do both of those things, yet a group of believers were asking for my resignation. How did this happen? What did I do, or not do that caused this? I wanted to own up to the truth but did not know how to deal with those things that I believed were not true. I was sickened by the tricks of the evil one and I was devastated by the short tenor of my young pastorate. I ran to the Scriptures and I fell to my knees. ( side note – This was a long time ago)
“What is true Lord?” I cried out loud! “I wanted to be convicted and changed.” I did not want to blame anyone, though there was enough blame to go around. How could this happen in church? How could I not have seen the conflict, how could I not see the harsh dark hiding behind the church? In my absence from the pulpit, I prayed and prayed and would not let go of the altar.
In my youth, I did not understand that the church is made up of people. People are fallible and guilty of being self-centered. I even realize that I too am a people. To claim and bring on the Love of Christ into my heart, I also must bring on the ability to forgive and be forgiven. To love others despite others. Now, many years removed from this hard time in my life, I can say that I have received the forgiveness of Christ and I have forgiven those who have wronged me.
It is appropriate and right that we seek forgiveness and we extend forgiveness. Forgiving others is a powerful position to be in. Letting God forgive us is the place it starts. All of us, even you have done things we should not have done. All of us have also been the brunt of others sin. Other people have hurt us and have treated us in a manner that just should not have been. The future is held back by UN-forgiveness of the past. To move forward, the shackles of yesterday must be severed. Jesus Christ is a master locksmith and can cut the chains.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
There was a time in my life when I was in college, I was a real jerk to other people. I was very selfish and was only concerned about what I could get from others. I hurt some special people. I was a good actor and smooth of tongue. I have thought that if I could return to that time, I would be different. I have had a chance to ask some of those to forgive me and they have. I would like to ask all of them for forgiveness but unfortunately, we cannot rewrite the sins of the past. We can however learn and improve our future behavior. (if you happened to be reading this and identify as one of those I hurt, please forgive me. I think you would like the new me Jesus has helped!)
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord. Acts 3:19
Hanging onto the sins of the past is like drinking from a stagnant puddle of water. Accepting the mercies of God through the forgiveness of sin when we repent is like taking in the freshness of a natural spring.
When we forgive others, that same spring is our new source of life and growth. We do our self a great favor by forgiving others! It is good and right to follow the Word of God!